Day 56 - Getting Preggers

The other day I was talking to a good friend who was trying to get pregnant. She was telling me how frustrated and discouraged she felt about the whole process. She asked me if I could write something about it. I'm by no means an authority on the subject, but I do have my own experience to draw from and my own thoughts on the process...so here goes...

My whole teenage life it seemed like I was bombarded by messages about safe sex and pregnancy. I just remember those embarrassing and unpleasant conversations with my mom who basically to me that any kind of physical contact with a boy would result in immediate pregnancy.

When the hubby and I took the monumental decision to take the cap off and to start "trying" for a baby, I thought a couple of "tries" would do the trick. Right? Oh! But, how dismally wrong I was!  Month after months, I would pee on that dreaded stick and only to see one line and not two. As you can imagine, I was beginning to feel frustrated and disillusioned. I tried to stay positive about the process, but I was beginning to worry and it put a strain on the entire "love making process." Things became very mechanical and based complicated math calculations, which projected my anticipated ovulation date. I felt like a capital FAILURE...

I was somewhat relieved when winter came, since the hubby would be on the road and it would give us a much needed break from the "trying." On the handful of occasions when we did see each other, we celebrated and the possibility of getting pregnant was far from our minds.

In March, he ended up coming home for a couple of days on a layover from Europe to Calgary. Two weeks later, I came down with the flu. Or, what I thought was the flu. Being pregnant never crossed my mind. But, when the feeling of nausea didn't go away, I was suspicious and cautiously hopeful. I mean, if I calculated back, it wasn't possible. I wasn't even supposed to be ovulating at that time. And, we hadn't even "tried.” 

Imagine my surprise when I pied on the dreaded stick and there appeared two bright blue lines. SUCCESS!

And, what was the key? Here is what I have concluded about the whole process of "getting pregnant."

1.         You get pregnant when you don't try.

2.         You don't get pregnant when you do try.

I know! It's totally confusing. But, the truth is. Perhaps that for some women getting pregnant (or not getting pregnant) is a state of mind. If you ask my hippy in me - being stressed and mechanical about the process is counterintuitive to the whole naturalness of getting pregnant.

I'm not a doctor. This is just my opinion. And, I recognize that some women do face legitimate fertility problems. But, for those who are like me - women who do not have any apparent problem with their "pipes," but for whom getting pregnant is a bit more of a challenge. Well, my advice to you is to just relax, lie back, and enjoy the ride. :-)

Day ?? - Winter Hiatus

I would like to apologize to all my readers for the unforeseen winter hiatus. I wish I could say that my reasons that kept me from writing were justifiable, but what it really boiled down to was pure and utter laziness. Or if you really want an excuse: the devil took me to paradise and forced me to live a life of idleness and gluttony!

Let me explain. One day in the November my hubby unexpectedly suggested that we spend the winter with him in Europe. Needless to say I was excited. I always had a romanticized idea of living in a foreign country and living a life of leisure. But, that idea didn’t involve two small children or having to lug them across the Atlantic Ocean all by myself. A small detail that in my mind could be easily overcome.

Come December I packed up my wee ones, strapped the baby to my back, strapped the toddler to the stroller, travelled 12 hours in a stuffy airplane (plus one long connexion) and arrived in beautiful Kirchberg, Austria.  (Kirchberg happens to be the home away from home of the Canadian Alpine ski team and where my hubby spends most of his time training.) And, trust me, the hours cooped up in the airplane and hauling my children and bags across airports to make connexions was worth it.

Our little family literally hibernated for two glorious months. We all snuggled in our tiny Euro style apartment surrounded by snow covered mountains, temperate weather, speck, chocolate, apple strudel, cappuccinos, marzipan, sausage and an abundance of Weiss beer and red wine. I was in Heaven! Pure utter bliss! It was as if we were in some sort of time warp where all notions of time and responsibility vanished. We played in the snow, skied and ate until our bellies were full…did I mention that we had a cook?

Don’t get me wrong, I fully did intend to write. I even had a computer and Internet access. But, for some reason I couldn’t be bothered to even log on to computer, let alone write. I mean…can you blame me?

Christmas in Europe!

Day 24 - It’s called post-partum baby!

It happened after the “babymoon,” two weeks after Jake was born. Everything was perfect. I stared for hours on end at the little precious being that I had created. I was overjoyed to finally meet this tiny person that had lived inside me for 9 months. I wondered who he was, what he would become and who he would look like. I was totally captivated by his every little movement and jumped at every coo! I was in a swoony, blissful haze! I was in love! And, the icing on the cake was that I could finally sleep on my stomach. Heaven!

Skip to a couple of weeks later…

The happy, swoony hormones from my delivery were levelling off and were all wonky. My emotions like my house were now a complete and total disaster. My little precious little wonder looked less like a baby and more like a parasite that required constant feeding and diaper changing, needed to be held around the clock, and squawked whenever I put him down. I couldn’t remember when I had last showered and how long I had been wearing my pyjamas. I wondered whether the black circles under my eyes had become a permanent fixture. And, my boobs hurt! I couldn’t figure out what hurt most, the fact that they might explode or the feeling that someone had tried to sandpaper my nipples off. I wondered when I would get my figure back because I wasn’t keen on the stomach flap and the stretch marks that looked like a road map to my belly button. I mourned the loss of my old life. The one where I could party all night, sleep in, do what I wanted when I wanted. You know the life that had zero responsibility!

The hurt, hormones, sleeplessness, dark circles, flabby skin, crying, poopy diapers and constant caregiving is what postpartum is all about! It plain sucks…period! Here is some consolation, however. Every mommy goes through it! It’s like a right of passage to mommyhood. If you can handle post-partum you can pretty much handle anything your little monsters to throw at you. The “suckiness,” although “sucky,” is brief (and, like the actual act of childbirth will become a vague memory). Most things get resolved with time. And, what doesn’t go away, you just adjust to. Those little bundles of poopy messes and spit up are really easy to get attached to. They have a way of making you forget about your old life was like. Soon, you will wonder how you could have ever possibly lived without them. J